That second appointment with the Radiology Oncology department featured one of more intense medical procedures I’ve had during this whole ordeal. In many ways, even the 2 surgeries I’ve had (the lymph-node biopsy and the chest-port installation) were less intimidating that this was, but mostly because I was drugged for those. I was reminded of the card that Emily included with the holiday gift from everyone. It said:

Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think of it as lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.

– Asha Tyson

I’m not saying it was THAT horrible of an appointment (really I just like the quote, I think of it often) but it was certainly one of those days where I was glad for everything that had come before it.  As I said to the technician I was working with: If this had been the first thing I’d done, it might have seriously freaked me out, but I’m not phased by much anymore.

Forgive me for getting a little dramatic here, I should just get on with telling you what this appointment was all about.

I will be receiving daily radiation (M-F) to my chest and neck. Its very important that I remain still during each procedure, and it is very important that I assume the same position every day for the treatment so that the same areas are radiated precisely with as little damage as possible to the surrounding tissue. So, in order to facilitate this, I will be wearing a “mask” over my head, neck, and chest that is then literally attached to the table in order to hold me in the same place and position each time.

When I receive treatment each day it will only have to be “strapped in” to the thing for a few minutes. They have to make the mask first, and once they shaped it around my face, neck and shoulders I had to stay in it while they took a series of CT Scans which they then used to map out which areas will be radiated. All in all I think I was strapped to that table for about 30-40 minutes while they made the mask.

This isn’t the actual mask that made for me, but it gives you an idea. Mine is bigger, as it covers my neck and part of shoulders. This was the example one that was in the nurses office:

So making sure I’m in the same position everyday is serious. To top if off, I was also given a small permanent tattoo in the middle of my chest. It will be used as another reference point to ensure that everything is lined up correctly. It’s not as big a deal as it sounds. It’s smaller than some of the freckles that I have, but still, it’s a tattoo, I’ll have it forever.

This is a self-portrait:

The little black thing I’m pointing to is the tattoo. The big brown thing is a giant freckle that I have, and the weird white thing which completes the triangle is a scar from the first chicken-pock that I had when I like eight or something.

Sure it’s small, but now can I say that “I’ve had some ink done…” Maybe I’ll have the tattoo expanded and  turned into a swooping eagle across my chest or something BADASS like that when this all done.  That’d be cool!

So yeah. Needless to say, it was intense day.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, will be my first Radiation treatment.

It will be  a longer appointment than normal as it will also be orientation day. Going through the steps, learning about what will happen every day etc.

Good times.

Yesterday was my first radiation appointment. It took about an hour but from here on out I should be in and out in less than 15 minutes. The actual “zappy part” (not a term that they use) takes less than 2 minutes. And in fact most of that time is waiting for the machine to move. So for the rest of my appointments it’s just check-in and change into a gown, and then they strap you down and shoot you up.

Boom. Done.

This appointment took longer today because there were a bunch of “verification films” (X-Rays) that they took. From what I understand, these are to ensure that the plan they put in place still lines up with where my organs and things are.

When I say a bunch, I mean a BUNCH.  I feel like took like 10 X-Rays. It was definately to the point where one starts to wonder if exposure to this many X-Rays is healthy, at least  that is until you remember that you’re there to be to radiated. =)

Once that was done they moved on to the actual treatment. Like I said, it goes really quickly. One shot from behind, and two shots from the front. They are radiating the large tumor in my chest and a few of areas that used to be lymph-nodes, but which are now dead cancer tumors.

It’s painless, you can see the rays or feels them or anything. The only way you know its happening is that they machine makes some noises.

1 Down. 14 to go.

I go back today at 1:15

My third appointment yesterday was the fastest to date.

I was in and out in less than 5 minutes.

This is a far cry from Chemo which took like 3 hours.

This is easily my best blog post EVER (sorry, I sort of forgot until I was already in bed, so I got up and wrote this quickly)

As expected, the biggest side-effect to radiation has been the sore throat and sore esophagus. How does one know if their esophagus is sore, trust me, you know. Swallowing is difficult and painful, but it could be worse. From what I understand it can become so painful for some people that they aren’t able to swallow at all, at that point some people (in particular the elderly) have to be hospitalized as they quickly become dehydrated and have to be fed through a tube. It’s not going to come to that for me though. However I can definitely see how trying this could become if I was due for a longer course of treatment.

The pain and swelling is essentially due to a “sunburn” on my upper esophagus. It gets irritated from being irradiated (see what I did there =) and swells so that the opening is less than half of what it would normally be. The subsequent pain and smaller hole makes eating difficult, and I have had to adjust my diet. NO sharp pointy foods. Only soft foods and the colder the better. Ice cream is pretty much the perfect food in this case, it’s the only thing I’ve found that doesn’t cause any pain at all. It’s a combination of being soft, cold, and a thick consistency that keeps the throat from having to constrict too much. Even water hurts so it’s become a chore to keep up on it so I don’t get dehydrated, but ice cream goes down smooth! Smooth and delicious.

I’m “sun burned” on the outside too. My chest is a little red, but my neck is very red. I’m supposed to use aloe to sooth it, but it hasn’t hurt at all, so I haven’t been keeping up on it. In fact, I’ve used it once so far, and that was in the doctor’s office when the nurse showed me that I should be using it. Apparently after 7 months I’ve stopped doing EVERYTHING that doctor’s and nurses have told me to do. It’s my own little rebellion I guess. But seriously if it started to hurt, I would probably remember to use the aloe more often than the NEVER that I’m using it now.

Apparently there should also be some fatigue associated with these treatments, but like I’ve said before, after chemo the word “fatigue” develops a whole new meaning and understanding, so if there is any fatigue happening with radiation I haven’t really noticed it.

5 more treatments left. Then I should be officially done with cancer treatment… hopefully forever.