It was time, and to give you an idea of why, we filmed this quick into before we cut it:

Unfortunately, due to video compression, you may not be able to clearly see the handfuls of hair (switching to 480p helps). But trust me, they were there, and they were kind of gross. If you have a long-haired pet and a furminator, then you get the idea.

I figured that my hair was going to start falling out about now, but I thought that it would be in response to my second chemo treatment. Imagine my surprise then when it started falling out in a big way this weekend. We had noticed that it was certainly thinning in places, but when I got out of the shower on Thursday and toweled off my head the towel was FULL of hair in a pretty gross way. It was happening.

As the weekend progressed we started finding more of it around the house and every morning my pillow is increasingly covered with hair. Even after a few short days of hair-loss I was starting to notice some real bald spots. So, as you can see from the video, since I can’t touch my head without pulling out a chunk of hair (a pretty nasty feeling I assure you) we made the decision to cut it pretty much all the way off.

Armed with some clippers that I picked up at Costco, Stine made quick work of my hair… but not before we had some fun with it.

Before. Note the included 'cape' which I wore even though it really didn't do anything to help keep the hair off of my clothes

Smoldering Good Looks

Punk?

I should have just left it like that

'Every Who down in Whoville loved Christmas alot ...'

And finally, after a few more passes with the clippers:

New Recruit? ... or Cancer Patient

Lots of space between the hairs up here... I do have a bit of a widow's peak, but it's certainly been exaggerated lately by the hairloss

Fallen soldiers

We decided to start by just cutting it real short. This is primarily just to keep it so that I no longer feel like a cat in spring as I walk around leaving my long hair all over the furniture, but if it continues to fall out leaving large bald patches (which there are certainly already a few) then we’ll go back and essentially shave the rest off to create a more uniform look. It may just continue to fall out in only certain areas, or it might fall out everywhere. Only time will tell. And as I keep learning there are always surprises.

I really thought that it would take a few treatments before it got the point that it would pull out this easily though, but I guess it’s just a testament to the power of these chemo drugs. It’s crazy to think that it’s been 3 weeks since my FIRST and only treatment at this point and I am still experiencing new side effects. Should definitely be interesting to watch my body react to these treatments as I start having them every two weeks like originally planned.

Speaking of which, my blood test yesterday came back and my white blood cell count is at 3.8, just 0.2 away from low end of a normal person, but high enough that we’re headed back to bootcamp chemo today. 1B, here we come! We’ll see you on the flip side!

It’s been 2 weeks now since I cut my hair and my hair continues to thin dramatically.  However, I  am still holding out hope that it isn’t going to fall out entirely and that enough hairs can hold on so that I won’t have to shave the rest off. I don’t know though, it’s starting to get pretty precarious up there:

Definitely some clear bald spots forming here in the back:

And a before and after for comparison.

Before (2 Weeks ago):

2 Weeks Ago

And After (Today):

Today

I don’t know if the pictures do it justice or not, but I do know that more than once this week I’ve caught myself in the mirror and thought, “Damn, I’m really starting to lose my hair!”

On the positive side, today when I dried my hair after getting out the shower my towel wasn’t covered in hair. This is first time in weeks that haven’t seen any hair at all. Come to think of it, I don’t know even why I am drying my hair with towel anymore, it pretty much dries instantly on its own since its so short. I guess it’s just a matter of habit at this point. Habit, and that I’m always check to see how much hair is going to have come out.

On the other hand the hair loss really started taking off at the 3 week mark after the first chemo treatment, so there is still time for it pickup again. Especially since I should be back on the 2 week schedule now, assuming no further interruptions.

It really doesn’t bother me too much though. I don’t think I would I mind too much if I did wind up completely bald, or close enough that I had to shave my head all the way. It will grow back when I’m done, and I don’t think I’d look too terrible with no hair at all. Unlike most people my face doesn’t have any complexion so my perfectly white bald head would blend with my perfectly white face.

PLUS this hair loss stuff isn’t too bad, I don’t have to shave my face anymore these days. It’s been two weeks and  I only have a few little bits of stubble just starting to peak out.

Going in for another blood draw today in advance of Chest Port Placement tomorrow and chemo again on Wednesday. Like I said, I don’t know what, if anything has changed, regarding my blood clotting issues, so I’m hoping that they won’t cancel the chest port placement again after the blood test as they did last time. Additionally, I am eager to see how the daily injections that I took after my last chemo treatment have effected my white blood cell counts. I’ll be sure to let you know the results as soon as  they come back.

As each week passes by, I grow more and more confident that my hair loss has peaked and that I might not look like a cancer patient to people who wouldn’t know that I’m sick. I might be fooling myself, but I don’t even think it looks that bad, or at least I should say that I think that I might even be pulling it off. By “pulling it off” all I hope is that if you saw me walking down the street you wouldn’t think that I looked weird, or that I was sick at all. It’s certainly pretty patchy in places on the top of my head but overall I think that just enough hair has remained to just make it look like I might be losing my hair at young age. Or that I just joined the military.

What’s strange though is how chemo is continuing to effect the rest of the hair on my body. I haven’t shaved my face in almost a month now, and all that has grown is that time is a very fine “peach fuzz” as if I was 12 again. I’ve never been known for my facial hair growing prowess, quite the contrary in fact. Normally the only facial hair I would be able to grow is a weak mustache that creeps my wife out after a few days, and then some scraggly hairs around the front of my chin, but even that has failed to appear in the last few weeks. Unfortunately it does however continue to grow on underside of my chin and on a bit on my neck which is starting to show signs of the ever popular “neck beard.” She hates it so much! But I can’t see it so it’s doesn’t really bother me.

Additionally I’ve also started to lose most of my leg hair. There is still a bit on the front of my shins, but Christine is growing increasingly jealous of the smoothness of my calves and the sides of my lower legs. Between the smooth face, and hairless legs, it’s like I’m a becoming a freshman on the High School Swim Team. It’s kind of an odd place to be in.

I am happy to report though that the dozens of chest hairs that I’ve managed to grow in my (almost) 29 years have remained in place and thusfar have not shown any signs of abandoning their posts. I take great comfort in this for some reason.

While the hair on my head continues to thin yet has mostly remained, I’m just about out of body hair. It’s almost entirely gone on my legs but is still hanging around on my arms. I haven’t been losing hair in clumps like I was back in October, but what I think is happening now is just normal hair loss that everyone experiences. The difference for me is that while everyone else is constantly growing new hair to replace what they naturally shed, I am not.

The thing about the hair on our bodies is that it serves a purpose. You really notice this when its gone. Nose hair for example is something you probably don’t think much about it, unless you no longer have any. The purpose of nose hair is both a first line of defense to keep things out, BUT it also works to help keep things in. Since I no longer have any my nose runs all the time. You know how when you’ve been outside in the cold for a while, and it can make your nose start to run? Well that happens to me, only it doesn’t have to be cold, and it doesn’t have to be “a while,” I basically just have be outside and it will cause my nose to start to run. And with none of that pesky nose hair to get in the way and disrupt the flow, it rolls on out in a quick and steady pace.

I’ve also lost the hair in my ears. Here is another example of a place that we have hair for a reason. Like the nose, the hair in the ears is again designed as a first line of defense to help keep things out. Without it though, I find the body resorting to an over production of it’s second line of defense, ear wax.

The weirdest place though that I’ve started noticing the hair loss is MY EYELASHES. And whats even weirder about that is that it’s mostly just the bottom lashes that have lost the good fight.

If you’re keeping score, I’ve got about 8 left on the bottom of each eye.

You can a couple of them still hanging on, but they sure went fast. I first noticed it late last week when I rubbed my eyes and noticed several eyelashes still stuck to my fingers when I pulled them away.

Also as the hair on my head has continued to thin at a slow pace, I have finally reached the point when my head is starting to get cold if I leave the house without a hat or beanie.  I really started to notice it in the over the last week or so while I’ve been out Christmas shopping. Still, if you passed me on the street I don’t think it looks to bad, nor do I feel that I particularly look like a cancer patient. Unless you already know.

Chemo today. The good people at the hospital have a couple of early Christmas presents for me:  adriamycin, bleomycin, vinblastine, and dacarbazine.

Merry Christmas to ME!

I am beginning to think that I may not be pulling this look off anymore. It may be time for it all to go.

We went to a show this weekend, and at intermission Christine left our seats and went to grab some more popcorn. When she came back she was scanning the crowd looking for our me and our seats and she couldn’t find me. I was leaning forward in the seat hunched over and looking at my phone and she thought that a bald guy was sitting in what she thought were our seats. Turns out she was right, a bald guy was sitting our seats. Me =(

I figured I should take out the camera then and get a good look at myself… I was shocked at what I saw. Or rather what I didn’t see. The angles I can see in the mirror give me an illusion that I still have hair. These pictures do not. Using the flash doesn’t help anything either. Not what I thought I looked like at all.

I shouldn’t be so surprised. I knew it was going to happen, I just think that after it stopped falling out in clumps I kind of thought that maybe I was going to be spared. But it looks like that might not be the case. Oh well, it’s just hair. I should be glad for the extra time that I had with it. Most others on different treatment courses of chemotherapy aren’t as lucky.

We’ll see. I think we may try cutting the sides way back again but still leaving it a bit longer on top. Though I don’t how much longer we can keep this up.

I think the reason I AM suddenly having such a hard time with this is that I got used to the idea that I would still have hair. When I was initially diagnosed I figured I would lose my hair and that was that. I was okay it with it. It was part of being a cancer patient. I was even secretly excited to cut my hair when it started falling out. I looked at it as a right of passage for cancer patients. A “red pale bald badge of courage” as it were. BUT, then when it when it stopped, when it looked for a while like I wasn’t going to have to completely shave my head, I sort of got used to that idea.

These pictures though… sheesh. I’ve been operating under the assumption for the past few months that if you passed me on the street you wouldn’t look at me and think that I might be sick. But if you already knew that I had cancer, then yeah, you can see that my hair is pretty thin. Not anymore though. I don’t think I’m foolin’ anyone with this current look. We’re gonna need to do something about this.

Chemo today.
For the record: Do. Not. Want.

Also, in case you’ve been wondering: we did not win the Mega Millions.
Didn’t even get a single a number.