The last show I worked on before I got sick was the sold-out run at a small theater

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s during the the end of our extension while we doing a series of Midnight Shows. It got really difficult for me actually. On one hand, my symptoms from the tumors were really acute and the show was in fact extremely difficult for me to get through at that point, but on the other hand I couldn’t tell anybody. That’s not true. I could have told my cast-mates, and in fact if we had done another weekend of shows like we had originally planned I would have told them as I probably would have had to start make some changes in my performance. At the time I could hardly exert myself without going into coughing fits (if you recall, I had a large tumor pressing on my lungs) and that’s to mention the fact that I had just had surgery. Still, we didn’t want to tell anyone yet, because I hadn’t had the chance to tell my family. But as fate would have it, we wound up canceling the final weekend of shows and I didn’t have to do the show or start telling people that I was sick.

Around this same time I made the tough decision to pull out of an upcoming (but now currently running) show at a larger theater. It was hard to do, and it was hard it was for me to come to the realization that I probably wouldn’t work again until next fall at the earliest. BUT things may have changed a bit. All I need is for luck to stay on my side.

A few weeks ago I was approached again about reprising my role as in their jupcoming remount starting the final weekend in January. They approached me knowing full well that I was sick, and they were upfront about their willingness to have someone understudy the role as well. I had already written it off in my head, so my initial instinct was to decline, but I thought about it for a few days and even after discussing my possible limitation with the new director, they still wanted me back. And so I’m happy to announce that I have agreed to return!

They have been EXTREMELY generous (and frankly I think, a bit a silly) to ask me back. But as there will be someone covering the role, just in case, this should work out. As I explained to them, there is no knowing where I will be at in 2 months when the show is scheduled to open. I can’t guarantee to them that I’ll be physically able to perform. And even if am able to open the show, the ever changing side-effects of chemo may prevent me from being able to continue the run. Or maybe my low white blood cell count will eventually catch up with me and I could come down with some kind of infection and I’ll need to be hospitalized or… well… suffice to say: I feel like I have been very fortunate with my treatment so far in that I HAVEN’T had any serious problems yet. But that’s not to say that I won’t. And fortunately the people there are willing to assume the risks (with the provided insurance of an Understudy!)

Even if I’m only able to do a couple of shows it will be worth it to me for a chance to get back on the stage again, earlier than expected even. And what I’m even more humbled by,  grateful for,  and touched by, is the fact that they feel its worth it to THEM to have me back, even if I’m only able to do a few shows.

I know that everyone out there is already praying for me and sending me good thoughts, but now I think it’s time that we all crossed our fingers and hoped for the best come the last week of January through mid-February. I’m gonna need it!